Ed saw his shrink last night. Ususally this guy is just a listener and a prodder - he prods Ed into discovering what is going on under the surface. Last night, for the first time in two years, he made comments.
It is obvious to him that Ed has depression.
It is also obvious that Ed is having a breakdown.
Right.
Deep breath because the next bit is what I was dreading.
Ed cannot carry on as he is.
We talked last night and we carried on this morning.
There are some things that are clear to both of us.
Although I really, really don't want to accept this, Ed has to leave his job.
He is going to talk to the College and see how quickly he can leave without harming the students' education. He is hoping it will be at the end of next week.
Also, he is going to see the doctor next week and talk about medication for the depression and about how to lose weight seriously over the next couple of months.
The future is unclear but he is talking about returning to supply teaching and acting. I feel very strongly that he has to let go feeling that the only way he has of being a good parent is to be here all the time. The truth is, he is a better parent, and more present with the children, when he is happy in his work. If that means taking an acting job that takes him away from us for a stretch of time, that is better for all of us and healthier too, that being in a job that keeps him at home but still depressed and on the verge of breaking down.
Where this leaves me, I am not sure. Money is going to be uncertain and a regular salery will be ...... useful!
I don't feel we have hit the bottom yet. Ed is too happy today after being so upset yesterday. Reality will bite and the downward slip will happen again. He is a bit manic really. Which is worrying.
Sorry this is all so down and depressing. I need this space to vent, you guys all get caught in the sh*tfire. Feel free to leave, I'll make it clear in the title when things are good again!
Make them fall in love part IV
3 hours ago
5 comments:
Nope, not leaving. Staying right here. Is there any way he can be signed off with immediate effect considering how ill he is? Anna, I truly hope this is the catharsis he needs to move forwards. If he is an actor , he needs to act. Then with money coming in you can take your break and that will certainly be sooner than if he carries on like this. Huge whopping great hugs to you both. You BOTH need a turnaround and it is coming. xxxxx
Ohhh Anna, I am sending all kinds of prayers your way!!!!! I am hoping that things will work out soon. I understand a bit about depression and its rough! I know you will all pull through and be better for it in the end!
Unlurking / decloaking to send sympathy and virtual support. I have been through burn-out and that feeling that I just could not carry on. I am still rather mind-boggled at how long it took to get through it (sorry - not what you need to hear now, probably), but just knowing that it wasn't "just me" or "my problem" was a huge relief. I don't wonder his first reaction was happiness, no matter how bizarre that may have seemed. My prayers for your family!
I know this is not good news, but I'm glad you and Ed are on the same page, and he has a clearer sense of what he needs from here forward. He is fortunate to have your support, even if it means putting yourself in a tougher situation for awhile. I hope you can manage a bit of time to care for yourself, too. xoxo
Thank you for your kind comments. Hi Storyteller! Thank you for delurking. Jules - he just resigned this afternoon!
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