Page 46

Abi's class is studying Reproduction. Today they reached the dreaded page 46. I'll bet you remember your version of page 46, it's the one with the diagram of sexual intercourse. The whole class has been dreading and looking forward to page 46 in equal measure and today they faced it.

Full marks to her teacher, who answered every question without embarrasment and with honesty.

Questions like

What is a blow-job?

What is anal sex?

Doesn't it hurt?

I am big on being honest with kids but I am glad I didn't have to answer some of those questions! Her honesty in answering made it easier to talk with Abi later on this evening about the questions she had to answer for homework.

The questions were - Are there any differences between boys and girls and if so how and why (in attitude to sex); When is the right age to have sex?; When is the right age to have a baby?; What qualities do you need to be a parent?

I was very pleased that the follow up was thinking about the emotional impact of the consequences of sex. We had a long discussion with Ed about emotional maturity and respect for yourself and your partner. Abi was funny about the last question (What qualities do you need to be a parent?). In all seriousness she wanted to answer - Be just like my mum! In the end she wrote out the qualities that she thought were important. Interstingly, her most important thing was the ability to talk and listen. For a while that was the only thing she wanted to put, until we talked about patience, empathy, ability to put others needs before your own, a sense of fun and humour.

At the end, she put "*just like my mum."





*she made me write that!

Beast!!!

I'm worried

We love a "little chatty" at the end of the day in this house. It is a ritual that spreads bedtime out as each child gets a private, individual and much needed chat each evening. It is the one thing that I have found helps prevent problems from escalating, keeps me in touch with changes, thoughts, needs and worries that each child is experiencing. It is tiring once. Three times each night is exhausting.

But worth it.

Tonight, it was Livi who had the worries. Multiple worries. Some are easier to deal with than others.

Firstly, she is worried that when she gets the tinted glasses she will be teased, especially by the boys. A plan was needed and a plan was cunningly devised. We decided that cake is always a good way to deflect teasing, so when the glasses arrive, she is going to take cupcakes decorated with glasses into school. I am about to go and do an internet search for cake decorations (edible) in the shape of glasses. Then, the second part is sheer genius. We are going to make every child in her class (and her teachers) a pair of glasses out of pipe cleaners. Then, they will all be wearing glasses! And they will be cool and funky glasses! Livi is now pretty happy with the plans and not so worried about glasses.

So, onto the second worry, which is harder to deal with.

She has the odd (read, frequent) tantrum, which, I think are largely caused by the fallout from concentrating so hard at school. Now we have an insight into just how much harder she has to work to keep up than is obvious on the surface, the tantrums are even more understandable. Now that she is a big girl of seven and a quarter, her tantrums can include saying (screeching) some pretty mean things. She ALWAYS regrets saying them the minute she has calmed down again. Tonight, she told me how much she hates herself for this.

I did a quick intake of breath to steady myself, because one thing that absolutely shreds my heart is to hear a child say they hate themsleves. It can lead to such terrible self-destruction.

I got myself together and we chatted. I told her a few things that I had learned in my years of being alive.

1. Feeling angry, upset, jealous, mean, cross, sad, unhappy, down, negative etc is not wrong. Feelings are not wrong. They just exist. All we can do is accept that is how we feel.

2. We don't have to act on the feelings if that would make some-one else sad.

3. We do need to do something with those feelings. We can go to our room and shout, punch pillows, kick the beanbag - whatever it takes to get the feeling out. This is much better than trying to push it away and pretend we don't feel those things.

Livi was very surprised at this. I think she was expecting me to agree that these feelings are bad and she should stop herself from feeling them. Then she remembered how I go to my room when I get mad. She asked if this was so I could get the feelings out. I replied that it was and I would rather yell into a pillow than at her. I might not be able help my feelings but I could make sure they didn't hurt anyone. I also told her that often I feel better once I have had a good yell and then I can see the situation clearly and realise that everyone is tired and hungry and need a snack, or that I need a cup of tea! I also pointed out that we have a conscience that is a quiet voice and once we have let the negative emotion have its say, our conscience can be a useful thing to consult!

I think this is something I am going to have to revisit over the years but I am determined that she will not grow up thinking that feelings are intrinsically good or bad. Feelings are unconscious reactions to situations and they are important signals to us that something is up. Letting them out, and looking at a situation rationally, that is helpful. How we react is good or bad and we have a conscience to help us.

Parents!!!

Both my parents and Ed's have curious attitudes to the girls' diagnoses of dyslexia etc.

My parents were both primary teachers but come from the era when dyslexia was seen as either a complete inablity to learn to read or write, or it was the sign of a lazy child. They find it hard to accept that the girls, who are highly intelligent, have high reading ages relative to their chronological ages and score above average even in maths, where they struggle the most visably, could have a learning disability. When I try to explain that they are scoring highly despite the disability and that they are not fulfulling their potential and that this has a huge knock-on effect on confidence and self-esteem they struggle to accept this could be the case. They say things like, "It's just the way she is." or, "She's just not very mathematically minded."

This drives me insane because we have a way to make it easier for them and it helps with the self-seteem and confidence as well. If they had a physical injury they would not argue to leave it to get better by itself, or that they would outgrow it.

Ed's mother on the other hand, has no problems in accepting that the girls might have learning disabilities. What she doesn't understand is why we are doing anything about them. She said to Ed, this weekend, "You had dyslexia but we didn't tell you and you worked hard and got over it." Ed remembers going to an Ed. Psych. but as far as he was concerned there was no follow up. What actually happened was that his parents were told, as we have been with the girls, that he had a high IQ etc but that he had processing problems that came under the dslexia and dyspraxic  umbrellas. They decided that if tehy didn't tell him then he would work hard to keep up and as he got older it would all disappear. What actually happened was that Ed has suffered from crippling self-esteem and confidence issues and they have had a significant effect upon his life.

So, we have one set of grandparents who "don't believe" in such things and the other set that think that if we ignore it and make the girls work harder, get extra tutors and do more homework so they don't fall behind, it will all work out.

It was hard arduing the case with them on Abi's behalf. I have the feeling that it will be even harder now we have the two of them to fight for. Fight we will, however!

NVLD

Livi went for her Ed Psych assessment this morning.

Oh boy!

The official line is - Non-Verbal Learning Disability.

Which means verbally the kid is ok, so long as she is talking but non-verbally, that is visually she is at sea.

Or in other words - Dyslexia, Dyscalcula and Dyspraxia.

Or in other words, she is not great at processing.

How bizaare - that looks just like Abi. Good thing we have been well enough brought up (to borrow Jim's jargon) to recognise struggling when we saw it and didn't just call it laziness or a phase or something to be got over.

Well, I know this script. I've been here before.

Funny that Livi's reaction was similar to Abi's - relief that there is a reason for things not clicking the way they ought to.

Oh yes, and another couple of pieces of awesome - her reading age is 10 years and 11 months (she is 7 and 3 months) and her IQ puts her in the top 2%. Not that I wanted to finish on a brag .... but... y'know. She deserves a bit of a brag!

Happy birthday

It is Ed's birthday. I am rubbish about presents and cards and this year has been no different. Sometimes he doesn't get his present until September. Fortunately he doesn't care!

Last year, I managed to convince him he was a year older than he actually was. About two weeks after his birthday he looked at me and said "I was born in 1965. So I am 46, not 47."

He was so mad, until I pointed out that he now felt younger, thanks to my cunning plan.

Sadly, I cannot give him such a great present two years in a row, so I will revert to Plan A - wait until I see something I know he really wants.

Even  if that isn't until September!

Testing, testing

We contacted the same Educational Psychologist that we saw when Abi was tested for Additional Educational Needs, nearly four years ago, to make an appointment for Livi.

With Abi, I sent her thinking that the result would either come back as a great big negative for anything, except that she was stressed and that was understandably getting in the way of her performance, or that she would show up with something on the Autism Spectrum. My underlying reasons for either of those assumptions was that she was doing pretty well at school but there were funny glitches. Particularly noticable was her difficulty in making and maintaining eye contact, her obsessiveness with particular subjects and difficulties with her peers. These problems have not ,elted away but she is learning how to do things that do not come naturally to her, like looking people in the eye etc.

What I was not expecting was a diagnoses of Dyslexia. Many people still refuse to accept this because of her talent for writing and her love of reading. What most people do not understand is that it is the processing side of the disorder that is mostly present with Abi and that is what stops her from reading people's expressions easily and hence why she does not bother to look at their faces. It also gets in the way of her being able to process information, so a lesson that is "chalk and talk" might as well be in a foreign language. The words do not go in. Green glasses have helped, as has insisting that teachers teach in a way that allows her to access their subject.

With Livi, I can see already that we are going down a similar track. She does not have the problem of reading people's faces or tone of voice, in fact, she can do that too well. She over-reacts. But that may be beacuse although she knows that there is something to react to, she isn't sure how much. She is having similar problems at school.

Much as I  love her school, they do have a peculiar attitude to poor behaviour. As a teacher, I see behaviour, particularly behvaiour that is sustained over a period of time, as a signal to me that something is up.  If I have a child who has not struggled up to a certain point and then starts to misbehave, or to get teary, or to lose concentration, I look for a cause.

It might be something simple, like a new baby, a change at home or a change in routine. In thses cases a simple chat with the child, giving them the chance to talk about things that ahve changed that make them feel unsettled can be all it takes to get the child back on track. The chats might need to be repeated until the child feels truly heard but I feel it is my job to do that.

If there is no obvious change then I start watching the child to find out when and why the behaviour happens. If there is a pattern, there is a reason.

I strongly feel that no child behaves poorly for no reason. The reason might be so ingrained that the teacher might only be able to understand it but not change it. If the reason is seated at home but there is no abuse, neglect or otherwise worrying events happening, it may be that the teacher cannot change things. A chat with the parents might be worth it but many parents do not want to know that all poor behaviour starts at home.

In Livi's case, it does start at home, simply because it is my job, as her parent to spot that she is unhappy or struggling at school and to find a way of helping her. The problem is school. In that, the teachers are giving lessons and have expectations that are unrealistic for her. She is able to almost hide her struggles, but not quite. They show themselves by her losing concentration, being easily distracted, her level of reading not keeping track with expectations, not being able to keep more than one task in her mind at one time and freezing when given more than one.

Her school is failing her because they are addressing the behaviour, rather than the why.

On Friday, she will meet with the Ed. Psych. and we will be able to see what the patterns are. I am expecting to see milder dyslexia than Abi has but similar issues and similar ways of meeting her needs. The real difference between Abi and Livi is that this time I am ready to spot the problems and to help her with solutions that work, rather than doing my best in a very muddly way, until it became blindingly obvious that help was needed.

Liv, I think, will benefit as much as Abi did, from knowing that it is not her fault, and that it is simply the way her brain is wired up. Knowing that lifted a burden of guilt and lack of confidence form Abi and I am not going to let Livi lose confidence as I did Abi. Hindsight is a great thing and it is very rarely that I get a chance to do things better, sooner for any of my children because they are so different. I am relishing the chance to "make right" this time.

Right now

I warn you. This is a very self-indulgent, rambling sort of a post. Don't feel you have to read it. It has done me good to write it!

I couldn't sleep last night. I did my usual tric of going to sleep without a problem but woke with a jump at 1.30am, wide awake and thinking in technicolour.

I hate that time of the night. If it happens when Ed is away I prowl around the room, read for a bit, even have a bath but I feel guilty for waking him up and lie as quielty as possible, waiting for the end of the three hours when I can fall asleep again.

One thing that occured to me last night, that still makes sense this morning is that I don't get enough exercise. I haven't left the house since Tuesday. That is partly because Livi had a tummy bug and was puking all Tuesday night and Wednesday morning but Ed was around. He took the older two swimming, went shopping, went out and about. I don't really know how it happened that he escaped and I didn't. I am fairly sure it wasn't by design!

The technicolour thoughts last night were all about the type of exercise I could do.

I was throughly put off all sports at school, with the uncomfortable PE kit and the lack of encouragement for exercise for the sake of enjoyment and fitness. At my school it was all about being the hero in the A team. I was nowhere near any team and so, as soon as I got to Uni I did no formal exercise. I did a lot of walking. Huddersfield is a hilly town and I live at the top of the hill and the Uni was at the bottom. I got fit and slim.

Then, in London I couldn't drive and it was expensive to use the bus so I bought a bike and cycled everywhere. London is surprisingly hilly and I live at the top of a hill so getting home was always uphill! Once I had the babies I was always walking, pushing prams or carrying them in slings. Often I had one in the sling and one in the buggy and we had to walk long distances to get where we wanted to go. I was still fit and slim.

The rot started when we moved to North Yorkshire. The distances were too long to walk and I had to learn to drive. Post-natal depression and living in a little village with two babies slowed me right down. I lost my walking mojo and it hasn't completely returned.

I lost a lot of weight a few years ago, using the Wii-fit. It stayd off for a while and then slowly crept on. My problem now is that I have very little time to walk. My day to say life involves driving the kids around, adrenalin pumping, in order to get them to their schools on time and then to mine on time. There is no time during the school day and the temptation to eat cake and drink tea is overwhelming. I often give in.

So, back to the Wii-fit and no  more excuses about walking. I can fit in a couple of good hour long walks a week. I think that if I can lose the stone and a half that has crept back on, and keep it off with walking, and saying "no" to cake, which I don't even like much.

Oh My....

So, yesterday I was talking to Ed about  the disabled young lady I have mentioned from time to time. He told me they were interviewing people for Support Workers and I said "I would love to do something like that but I am not qualified."

He went off and rnag Lynne, who said to apply and see what happened. A few phone calls later and I have a filled in application form and an interview time!

It would be very different - only 16 hours a week but it is shift work, so either starting at 7 in the morning but finished at 11, or not starting until 4 in the afternoon but going through until 8.30/9pm. There will be weekend work too.

I have no idea what to think. Two days ago I was desparately trying to finish up planning so I could have a half term with my family. Tonight I am researching different types of Cerebral Palsey and Epilepsy and contemplating a complete change in rhythm and focus.

The biggest question is, can I keep my friendship with Holly's parents outside of the time I am being professional during work time. We all think we can do this. I really hope we can and that I get this job.

Oh my ...........................

Holi, holi, holiday

I worked all weekend.

I worked all today.

Tonight I put it all away and breathed a sigh of relief.

I am not even thinking about school until Sunday evening. I have the half term all planned, and if it isn't ready then it doesn't deserve to be!

The rest of this week is me and my family's, starting with underwear shopping tomorrow, because we hare that short of undies! Abi told me her knickers are all age 7-8! Seeing as she is the same height and size as me, that would be like me foecing myself into Livi's knickers. Time for a major overhaul!

There may well be a trip to the milkshake bar, because I was paid for the piano lessons today, in cash, so we can!!!

Hurrah.

French children don't throw food

People are going mad about this book. They seem to hate it and resent everything about it.

I bought it and read it before it went viral on the web and if you are interested to hear what I thought, read on!

I really enjoyed the book. I read it in the bath over a few nights and I found it amusing. I read it as if it were an autobiography, rather than as a parenting manual, which it does not pretend to be.

To me, it was more a comment on how different the French, Parisian culture that Druckerman found herself in, was to the American culture she left behind. She was confused by the parenting she saw because she did not have the cultural background to understand it. This is an exploration of the culture and Druckerman's efforts to gain an insight.

There were some parts that I found really fascinating. The French, it seems, see children as tiny little humans. I love this phrase. I sometimes refer to children as "short people" when their parents are worrying about how well they are doing compared with other children. Yes they are growing, learning and adding to their personalities and characters as they grow but they weren't born incomplete needing parents to complete them by making sure they learn to read, or ride bikes or do stuff. Children need to be seen as people in their own right and allowed the time and experience to grow themselves, at their own rate. I loved the use of the word "discover". Children are allowed to discover water, the park, music, food etc. Not through special classes where they move through a structured programme of discovery but by being allowed to play with it. Toddlers toddle about. Any classes they do are freeflow and about "experiencing". Obviously, I don't know first hand if this is universally true but I love the idea.

I took Johnny to a TumbleTots taster class once. We only lasted about half of it. There was all this fantastic indoor climbing stuff, the weather outside was miserable, so no chance of going to the park, even in full waterproofs and boots, so this looked like a great option. We weren't allowed on any of it. The person running the class wanted all the children and parents sitting in a circle to sing songs and then play with a parachute. It was a nightmare. Johnny kept making a break for the climbing stuff and I kept being told to bring him back. Eventually I asked if there would be free play at the end of the session. Tha answer was no so we left and made ourselves an obstacle course at home. He was 18 months old! All he wanted was to "discover" and "explore". A class with that emphasis would have been perfect.

Another big part of the book is about manners. I like manners. I am pretty strict about them. We live in a society that has a strong structure that relies on manners. All societies have some kind of structure of this kind. We are human, we seem to need them. They play an important role in making connections with other people. It is very noticable that my firends, some of whom do not make an effort to teach their children manners because the children are "too young", love having my children to play because they are well mannered and are a good influence on their children. It was and is hard work, bringing children up to have good manners. The great thing is that my children, although not perfect, can go into any kind of social situation and know how to behave. It gives them self confidence and grace. It allows their lovely, quirky characters to be enjoyed and appreciated. Saying Hello and Goodbye, Please and Thankyou are the beginning. At school our routine is to greet the children with a handshake and a goodmorning. It does not come naturally to them and we have to remind them. However, a parent told me that her child's beautiful manners were commented on at a family wedding and he told the person he had learnt how to do it at school. He had been given the tools to fit into his society and it made a difference. His mother reported that his behaviour was amazing because he had a positive model to fulfil.

I know that obedience is a hot potato as a topic and Druckerman faced up to it squarely in this book. French children are expected to obey their parents without a fuss. I am half and half on this issue. I like to have a discussion about the whys and wherefores, but only at the right time. I have a stock phrase, which is "Do it now, we'll talk about it later." so the children know that we will have a discussion but I havevery good reasons for it happening, at least in my view. If we discuss it later and we decide I was wrong (it does happen) then I thank them for obeying me then and we discuss what the alternatives could be and decide on one for future reference.

There are times when obedience is necessary, like when I don't want to hav e a discussion about something in front of an interested third party. I use the wide eyes for that situation! I use narrow "death glare" eyes for catching and stopping unwanted behaviour! It generally works and no words are necessary.

The final thing I liked was the idea of a "Betise". This is a little naughtiness. We don't have a word that mirrors it in English. You are either "good" or "naughty" and naughty could mean anything from singing under your breath to annoy your sister, to setting fire to her bedroom. A "betise" is a little naughtiness that warrants a mention but not a sit on the naughty step (whoever invented that deserves to sit on one for years!) or sending to your room. I like this because I can see that fromsomeone like my husband, who has a tendency to fly off the handle if things don't go his way, particuarly when stressed, to be able to see that it is a "betise" puts it into perspective and prevents things from escalating.

There is much else in this book. I like the final chapter "Let him live his life", which has much in that I agree with, particularly about physical freedom and freedom from the fear of paedophiles. I let Abi and Livi walk into town last week. It is a mile walk in, across three roads, through a public park and over a pelican crossing. They had a fantastic time going to the sweet shop and the toy shop and looking into other shops. I think they went into the Apple shop and played on the displays! They then gave me a call to say they were on their way back and were home half an hour later. They were gone for over two hours, just the two of them. This tye of trust and freedom is very important. It makes my friends raise their eyebrows and their children beg to come to my house! I have to promise some parents I won't let them out of my garden and keep the gates closed, they are so worried about what might happen. As my friend Jo, who has six children, says, better to let them enjoy thier lives while they can. If something awful does happen (and it is highly unlikely that it does) then at least they will have had a good life.

So, French children don't throw food - a good, funny book. It doens't pretend to be an expert's view. It doesn't pretend to be balanced or well rounded. It is one person's attempt to understand the culture she is living in. Interestingly,she doesn't adopt a completely French attitude to upbringing, she takes what she likes. just as we all do, when we are allowed to experience new things.

What do you think? Have you read the book? Did you like it or hate it? Do you think the articles and critcism have missed the point or do you think they are spot on?

And relax, again

So, we decided that the job, however lovely looking was essentially the same as the last job but full time and further away. Fortunately I managed to pursuade Ed that it was probably not the smartest move ever and he has left it.

Which leaves us with very little income. But happy. Hopefully.

It also leaves me in the same position I was in the last time I thought about my life, which is working hard, feeling more than slightly overstretched and worried that I am not doing my most important job as mother as well as I should but with fewer options that before.

Which means only one thing.

Shut up and stop whinging.

So I will!

Half term has arrived so we all have a week off school.

With any luck the snow will melt and spring will arrive. Again. Seeing as it started early and got killed off by a freezing cold week or two.

Noooooooooo.........

I thought I had it all sorted out.

It was going to go like this. We would be frugal and everybody would be at home and we would work it out and be happy. Ed would go back to acting and directing and in between he would be doing supply teaching.

And now, it is all up in the air again.

There is a drama school in desparate need of a head of acting and they are actively trying to get Ed to apply. They need someone so badly, whoever takes the job starts immediately. Ed is, needless to say, considering it.

It is a full time job. The school is on the other side of London so he would be living away from home all week.

I can't beleive he is even considering it. Yet I can also see how he can't let the idea go without looking at it carefully.

If he is seriously considering it then we have to seriously consider moving. I don't think I can see him surviving a whole week away from home when two nights has been so difficult. I hate HATE the idea of moving away from my family. We are all within 15 miles of each other and all the cousins love each other and get so much from growing up together. To move away from schools we are comfortable with and friends and everything else. It is so daunting.

So - back to being a good wife. Support stockings and big girl knickers on. I am going to be needing them!

Endgame

Ed had a good talk with the manangement staff at his college. They have come up with an exit strategy that allows him to continue teaching those classes that need the continuity, phases out those that can be taken by someone else and makes it possible to work out his contract so that future employers will not be put off by a sudden exit. He will work three days this week, two days a week after the half term holiday (next week) and one day a week until his third years have done their final degree performances in the summer term.

It restores one's faith in people to find that a big college has the ability to treat its staff with compassion and come up with a creative solution. Ed feels supported and valued.

He is happy. I am happy. The kids are happy.

We will be poor but happy!

Slow motion

It is all happening in slow motion.

The Interview.

The Wait.

The First Talk where Ed told me he couldn't face going back even if he didn't get the job.

The Heart Thing, where the stress got to Ed and his heart went racing out of control. An ECG is scheduled.

The Mad Post where I fantasise about a calm and quiet life cleaning my house and drinking coffee with my friends.

The Rejection.

The Three Days of Crying, Ed not me.

The Visit to the Shrink, who tells Ed that he has Clinical Depression and is heading towards a breakdown and go and see his doctor.

The Second Talk where Ed tells me that he has Clinical Depression and is heading towards a breakdown. More crying. Not me, yet.

The Third Talk where I am a good and supportive wife and tell Ed that he doesn't have to be perfect to be Good Enough for me and the children. We decide he must resign.

The Resignation Letter is emailed. A meeting is scheduled for Monday morning.

Waiting now, to see if the college will  let Ed leave at the end of this week. They probably will.

And then........

I will be the main breadwinner and Ed will be looking for work. And I don't know what else.

Deep breath

Ed saw his shrink last night.  Ususally this guy is just a listener and a prodder - he prods Ed into discovering what is going on under the surface. Last night, for the first time in two years, he made comments.

It is obvious to him that Ed has depression.

It is also obvious that Ed is having a breakdown.

Right.

Deep breath because the next bit is what I was dreading.

Ed cannot carry on as he is.

We talked last night and we carried on this morning.

There are some things that are clear to both of us.

Although I really, really don't want to accept this, Ed has to leave his job.

He is going to talk to the College and see how quickly he can leave without harming the students' education. He is hoping it will be at the end of next week.

Also, he is going to see the doctor next week and talk about medication for the depression and about how to lose weight seriously over the next couple of months.

The future is unclear but he is talking about returning to supply teaching and acting. I feel very strongly that he has to let go feeling that the only way he has of being a good parent is to be here all the time. The truth is, he is a better parent, and more present with the children, when he is happy in his work. If that means taking an acting job that takes him away from us for a stretch of time, that is better for all of us and healthier too, that being in a job that keeps him at home but still depressed and on the verge of breaking down.

Where this leaves me, I am not sure. Money is going to be uncertain and a regular salery will  be ...... useful!

I don't feel we have hit the bottom yet. Ed is too happy today after being so upset yesterday. Reality will bite and the downward slip will happen again. He is a bit manic really. Which is worrying.

Sorry this is all so down and depressing. I need this space to vent, you guys all get caught in the sh*tfire. Feel free to leave, I'll make it clear in the title when things are good again!

Ha - I knew it!!!!!

Have I mentioned we have had concerns that Livi is not as happy at school as she should be? Or that she is showing many of the same behaviours as Abigail was at this age? Have I mentioned that when I talked to her teacher earlier this year she felt that Livi was just a bit prone to daydreaming and needed to concentrate more, or that Livi was well aware that she was being pulled up for daydreaming but that she wasn't actually zoning out, she was simply trying to focus on one point on the wall so that she could listen and take in what was being said?

Did I mention last week's meeting where her class teacher (who is the learning support teacher at the school) really didn't feel that Livi had any issues because her iteracy levels are so high? I explained that Abi's level for literacy at the end of year two put her at least 18 months above her school year but that she has a diagnoses of Dyslexia.

Anyway. Livi went to the Optitians today for an Irlen Syndrome test. Briefly, Irlen Syndrome is a processing problem, where the brain cannot process visual information easily. Good readers can also have the condition because it is not the same as Dyslexia, where the brain cannot process the letters, this is where the brain cannot process the information so easily.

The test is very simple. Once any other eye condition, such as an astigmatism or long or short sight has been eliminated or catered for with a normal eye test, the optitian asked Livi to read words from a page. These were nonsense words but that are decodable - for instance, flollop! The number of words read in a minute is counted and how many mistakes are counted. Then Livi was asked to do similar exercises but with different coloured lenses. Each time the number of words and mistakes were counted. If there is a discrepancy of 10% between  the first time and the best of the tinited lenses then there is a significant processing issue. Livi's discrepancy was almost 100%. She went from reading 44 words in a  minute, to 74 words a minute.

Irlen's can have an effect on behaviour, stress and motivation. It can make reading, seeing work written on a white board or a poster or taking in (comprehending) instructions hard. In Livi's case, it is clear that she has light sensitivity and perception difficulties and we will be taking her to and education Psychologist as soon as possible.

In the meantime, I have a meeting with her two teachers tomorrow.

I shall try not to gloat that I was right and they were WRONG. Livi must have been working her little butt off to get where she is now.

Ha.

Ha-ha.

Mwahahahahahahaaaaaaa!!!!!!

Lighten up

It's been all doom and gloom around here so here's a little exchange I had with Livi a couple of days ago.

I was cooking and she arrived silently at my side.

"Mummy? Did they have, you know, light swiches and electricity and stuff when you were a little girl?"

I was born in 1975!